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Don’t Be That Tourist: A Small London Reminder Starring One Very Patient Horse

December 11, 2025 By admin Leave a Comment

Wandering past the Horse Guards, I caught this little scene that almost felt scripted, the way London tends to do when it wants to make a point without saying a word. A chestnut horse steps forward from the shadow of the archway, its rider perfectly still in full ceremonial uniform, that stiff-straight posture and gold braiding almost glowing against the dark doorway. The horse looks calm enough, but there’s that subtle tension in its ears, a flicker that says, I’m working right now, please don’t do anything silly.

Right beside it, two young women drift closer, smiling at each other in that half-nervous, half-thrilled way of people who know they probably shouldn’t be this near but are doing it anyway. One of them reaches out just a bit too casually, her hand floating mid-air as if she’s about to stroke the horse’s neck without quite committing. Another person holds up a phone in the foreground, completely absorbed in getting the shot, thumb hovering over the screen with no awareness of how close the camera — and the person behind it — actually is to a literal working animal.

BEWARE: HORSES MAY KICK OR BITE! THANK YOU.
Shot with Canon R100 and a TTArtisan 50mm f/1.2

And the sign on the wall does the heavy lifting with no sarcasm required: BEWARE: HORSES MAY KICK OR BITE! THANK YOU. It’s right there. Bold. Polite. British to the bone.

Yet people keep inching forward like they’re approaching a Disney animatronic instead of a half-ton creature controlled by a soldier who’s trying very hard to ignore the selfie ballet unfolding around him. The rider’s face really seals it — that stoic, almost weary expression that says, *Please, for the love of the Queen’s regulations, step back.*

Scenes like this make me laugh a little, but also wince. It’s a reminder that tourism has its unwritten code: admire, don’t intrude; look, but also notice where you’re standing; and maybe read the sign before trying to pet something that could punt you into next week.

So, just a gentle nudge from London’s cavalry: don’t be *that* tourist. The horses — and the riders — will thank you.

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